DO AS INFINITY
by Kurama2222
Summary: What will you do when the world changes around you? Eddard, Cat, Robb, Bran and Sansa team up for a new journey. Please review it very appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

Hi my name is Eddard Stark. I live in Westeros in the town of Winterfell. I have brown hair with spikes in the front. I have a wife named Catelyn and some children: Robb, Sansa, Bran, Rickon and Arya. Today I was sitting on some moss in the Godswood. I was cleaning my Master Sword replica in the pool next to the Weirwood. I wore a black shirt that said Final Fantasy XIII on the front and some grey jogging pants. From the left of my vision I saw my lady wife coming over to me.

"I'm so sorry my love," she said. "King Robert is coming to Winterfell for Anime North."

"Desu!?" I yelled. "This cannot be."

"He will be here within the fortnight. Also there has been a deserter from the Night's Watch."

"Bloody hell." I replied in a way reminiscent of Ron Weasley. I left the wood and began preparations with Maester Luwin.

"How goes the preparations maester?"

"Swell." He said. "The Gundam statue has a wire frame already built." I left to go deal with the deserter.

It was snowing outside and it was very cold. I wore an clouk with Akatsuki clouds embroidered on it. My sons (Bran, Rickon and Robb) came too. The crow was already bent over on the wooden slab and he was saying some chant in Japanese. I was angry because I knew it was from and anime but I didn't know which one. My chief of guards, Kageromaru Westerling pointed the handle of my Buster Sword at me. I pulled the cleaver from its sheath; it was heavy because I had not used it in a while. How Cloud used it in the game I would never know. I lifted the sword and said a prayer.

"Moko na shizune konnichiwa hatsune." I said. (It means 'have a nice life in the after life'. I knew Japanese and I was teching my children it too.)

The sword dropped onto his neck and sliced through. A fountain of blood went out of his head and got on my cloak but it was OK because it was black and bloody anyway. I said something else in Japanese and then went over to my son Bran.

"Do you know why I had to do it son?"

"Because he was a deserter. You must behead them when they leave the Wall."

"That's my boy. Remember to finish watching Akira tonight. Luwin is giving you a quiz on the morrow."

"Aye lord father."

I left to cleanup duty to my soldiers and strolled to the Godswood to clean up my Buster Sword.

I arrived at the pool where I was earlier. My wife Catelyn was sitting in the pool crying.

"Eddard!" she yelled. "You must come quickly….. Jon Arryn is dead!"

" What do I care? He was old an also a stupid prep." I always hated him because he wasn't an Otaku. Catelyn was sad because they dated when they were ~17. They broke up though and then she married me. Cat still has feelings for him (Not in that way because Cat is an honest woman who would never cheat you idiot). They are just friends. Catelyn cried and I comforted her. I then went back to the castle, ate some sushi and went to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up and strolled to my oaken wardrobe. I opened it and picked out a plaid polo shirt and some jogging pants that said 'Hogwarts' on the leg. I had bought it at Hot topic. The convention was to be today and Robert was to arrive at 12pm. Catelyn was tired so I let her sleep.

Winterfell was gorgeous in the convention decorations. The place was very bright and there were candles everywhere. Bran was practicing archery in the stable. Robb and Rickon were laughing.

"Which one o' you was a marksmen at ten?" I yelled at my sons. All of the sudden horses came into the gate and trumpets were blaring everywhere.

King Robert was entering the town one a black stallion with a dragon helmet, he was wearing a black robe and a straw hat with white things on the end. There were clouds on the cloak. He looked so good and accurate. He looked exactly like Itachi Uchiha. His wife, Cersei was in a basket she wore a pink shirt with a blak skirt. Her hair was dyed pink but had black roots.

"Oh look it's the fatty." I said in angrily.

"Don't talk like that to your king you shithead." He yelled while flipping his shoulder-length black hair. He rolled off of his horse and body checked me! My Hogwarts pants were soiled. I quickly unsheathed Ice and slid it through his fat stomach; blood was pouring everywhere. Including me. Robery laughed and screamed.

"That was just my shadowclone!" Cersei mumbled and wipped a tear from her eye.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!1" I said wearily. Robert appeared from beneath the basket that Cersei was sitting in. He was very fat and was now wearing a leather doublet that was purple, black breeches and a long cloak. He basically looked exactly like from the TV show. We were feeling hungry so we went to the dining hall(so did everyone else) and at some craft dinner while watching Ginger Snaps.

We loved that movie and we were inspired to fake our deaths just like the girls in da movie. We did and scared Bran to almost death. Robert settled in in the Hand's Tower along with Cersei, Joffrey and Myrcella. We were going to go to da convention tomorrow.

I woke up today and put on some clothes. I put on a cloak and some Game of Thrones costumes that I bought of eBay. It was a Robb Stark costume (I love that character). Robvert was wearing his Itachi costime again. Cersei stayed in the tower because she had a stomach ache. Myrcella wore a Hatsune Miku thing while Jogg wore a costume that the male version of the twin vocaliods wore. Our costumes were top-notch at the convention because we were royalty and we could buy all these tings.

"Heltho, Ethard Sthark…" said a spider like being that was bald and had cheeks that were powdered. I kned at once that it was Varys the eunich.

"Hello Spider." I replied. Varys was a Satanist. He had a red pentagram tattoo on his head that was very eye-catching. His robe was black with a dried out goat head on the back tied to it. He wore some black eyeshadow. He was the septon at the Satanist temple in King's Landing.

"How are you, Varys?"

"Gooth." All of the sudden, he lunged at me and bit me in the leg. I screamed. My guards shot some arrows through his abdomen (get it) and he died. I was injusred too…


	3. Remember Me

I woke up in The Hand's Tower with Robert looking at me.

"OMG you ludicrous stark." He said angstiyl. "Didn't you know the sprider was a cannibal?"

"No." I said quietly. He spat on my face and that was when I noticed his clothing. He was wearing the exact same thing as the spider was. It was black and satanic. I gasped and barfed a little in my mouth when I noticed a smell coming from my leg. There was a placebo on my leg and also a bandage. Robert also put a piece of rotten bread under the poultice. Robert was a septon at the sept of the old gods when he was younger. He wventually left and joined the war because he liked a girl. He is now the king bc he won the war. I noticed a scar on his left arm many years ago and it was there because Aegon's dragons burnt him there.

"What the hell , Robert?" I said in disbelief. He flipped his noire hair and spun around noisily . His cloak span around and knocked over my vase of flowers that was at my bedside. Dust and water and flower pedals where everywhere. It was so beautiful and then Roberts eyes twinkled.

"Ned, I want you to be my hand at the King;s Landing." He said like a anime gurl.

"k." I said and then collapsed suddenly. My blood was poisoned!

"Pycella!" Robert screamed, a tear in his eyes. "git him the milk of da poppy!"

An old man with a black robe came in. he wore a naruto headband and a inuyasha clook. His beard was long & white.

"Ay, lord," He fiddled with a bottle that contained a white liquid. He poured it down my throat and my sonvulsions stopped. "The milk of the poppy is a mixture of wolfsbane, thistle and Flea bottom tears."

"Thank you, master, yeh cleared his poison blood."

"Anything for the royal people."

I woke up ~3 hours later and I still had my bandage on. Robert had drawn some Vocaloid fan-art on it. I got up with a crutch (it wus very difficult) and drank some more poppy. Day 2 of the convention was today and I was extremely pumped to go. The Gundam was complet (yus) and I was uber pumped to see it. Robert, Robb, Car, Bran, Sansa and I were all going to go together. Robert wore a Solid Snake costume. It was the blue one from MGS2. Eventhoug it was extra large, his tummy made a huge bulge in the material. He trimmed his beard into a manly stubble 4 the occasion. Robb wore an Otacon cotume. It looked very good on him bc he was the biggest Otaku of the group. Cat put on a Kagome Higurashi thing that was green. She came with us on Kag's bike. She straightened her hair, added black dye and Put tons of gel in it. She was looking extremely hot. Bran might have had the best costume but that is immposible bc mine waz the best. He wore a Babette clothing from Skyrim. It was very simple because it was just a red dress. He had REALLY LOOOOONG hair already so he changed nothing there. Sansa was wearing a Hatsune Miku apparel. She died her hair green( it was very hard because her hari was originally orange and orange and green a opposites on the colour wheel). Her body was really well suited for the clothing but I didn't say because my family might think im a perv.

We went to the convention and it was amazing. The Gundam was soooooo real. Tents were everywhere and some Japanese bands were playing live. We moshed to the tunes and then left to buy some stuff. All of the sudden, some horses with plate armour came into wintergel real fast. They were red and it was obvious they were Bay. The leader was an old man with white hair and some black eyeliner. He had a lion head on his pauldron. His armour was black with some crimson and gold. I gasped…. It couldn't of been anyone but Tywin Lannisport. He threw a potion on the gundam and it melted away. Everyone one was screaming. Tywin had taken over the convention…

(Author Note: is it good?!)


	4. Chapter 4

Tywin was ruining the convention. It was stupid. Twyn was throwing more potion and was melting things like the tents and the Japanese band members. Everyone was screaming and I wax 2.

"Ned, save me!?" Cat screamed worrily.

"Cate-~!" I was interrupted when a small man came up in a horse. He had half an nose and blonde hair. His ears were pierced and so were his lips. One of his eyes were green while the other was blue! He wore a black cloak, a purple doublet, spiky boots with bluudy spurs on the end.

"Hey Tyrion." I said happily.

"Sup. " He said it in a depressing tone reminiscent of Naraku from Inuyasha. "Oh hey, my dad is coming to the convention today. He is a really big anime fan but he is SUCH a poser. He watched the first season of naruta and now he finks hes a fan."

"Stupid idiot. Oh BTW we were going to go to RiverRun soon. Would u like to come?"

"Oh, yeah sure. Lets go now." We mounted some steeds and left the flaming convention. Tyrion strapped a boom box onto the horse and played some J-pop. The road to riverrun was really cool.

It was cloudy and beginning to rain on the King's Road. There were a couple bandits on the road but we just killed them with our swords (tyrion used a bow &arrow though). The road was cobblestoned and finally the rain began to fall. All the gel in Sansa's hair was melting out and our costumes were getting wet. I was so fucking angry.

We eventually came across and inn it wasd called Acorn Hall. The inn was very nice and the bartender served us some drinks. Robb had gotten all drunk and layed wit a couple of tavern wenches. I was so proud.

"MyMyMy this is a awesome hall, eh Eddard?" Catelyn said in a werarly manner.

"Yeah. All of the sudden Catelyn eyed the door and a short man with mismatched eyes came in. He had black hair and looked exactly like Tyrion.

"I got a dragon to any idiot who wants to give up there bed." A man took the coin "Smart man."

"What the fucking hell. Why do you look like me you you you dumb poser?" Tyrion said angrily?

"U r an idiot, Tyrion. I am Tyrion, liar." The dwarves got on the ground and wrestled Tyruin losed.

"OMG. STOP RIGHT THERE THE ONE IN THE BLACK WAS THE ONE THAT KILLED MY SON! ALL FREIDNS OF HOUSE STARK AND TULLI RAISE YOUR ARMS AND PREPARE TO FIGHT THE IDIOT BASTARD."

"Wow what the hell" Said black Tyrion. He suddenly did a spell and he dissapeard outside acon hall. All the swords of the people in the hall were raised. Black Tyrion was gone and running.

"Guys…" Said Tyrion "Can you Call me Imp Daemon from now on? I'm so sick of the confusion. Oh and BTW I think that might have been my brother… Jaime!"

We all gasped. We learned something amazing everty new day!

(Oh, please give me some feedback! ^_^)


	5. A Clash of Kings

It was all cold outside and getting dark. Snew was falling. We were going to continent our journey 2 King; s Landing.

"Does any1 have anyfood I can eat?" Bran said in an insolent manner. I glared at him.

"What the hell do you think you gluttonous welp?" Bran wuz getting very fatt and needed sum disiciplne.

"arsehail."

Our journey continues. We were almost halfway through the journey! We fought some more bandits and highwaymeans. And it was getting warm… I had to take off my contume but I didn't bc then I would not look cewl.

"oh hehhy, cool cotume are you Robb SRak?" A man wearning a miyoga costume said, he was very little but v. nice.

:Hey you have a really nice costume 2 old man!" I replied. Suddelny the man got really angry and stabbed me in the chest!

Chapter 5.5

"NEEEEEEEEEED!" said my son Ronn. "r u ok?!"

I was bleeding out and I needed a medic.

"4 da love of god… get me da paramedic from SC2!" I feinted right there on the ground. The old man was gone bc my son Bran Stark munched on him.

"My husbund?" yellded Cackelyn. She begun to crawl at her face. She got all bloody and craxy.!

"Mother it is OK!" Yelled Robb. Suddenly he said a Japanese chant and I my womb healed. Althrough there was still blood on my clothes. Robb also did a chant on Catelyn and it healed he face and made hher not bluudy.

"Where did you learn that son?" I said curiosly. I suddenly remembered. Robb went to Maester school when he was 7. When he was there he learned magic, somefing all masters know. I knew that was why the 16yr old was always wearing an ugly un-otaka type of chain aroung his nack.

I was all bloody and muddy and wet bc I fell to the ground so I changed into a new costume. I put on a Nordic armour piece that looked exactly like something teh people abroad the wall wood wear. It was grey and blak and had a cool glossy finifh to the metal. There were horns on the shoulders. I also put on some black skinny jeans and spiky boots. I was looking so fucking amazing and imtmidated. Catelyn bluched at how awesome I looked. She continied to wear her Kagome higurashi school girl outfit (Catelyn is 22 so it still fits her).

The road was long &hard to traverse. My legs felt like lard after the journey butt we could see Kings; Founding in the distance we could see da rad keep and the big tan walls. It was amasing it might have been better Than Winterflea!

We arrived at the walls of the town and sum guards stopped us there. They needed us to show dem our ID cards. My picture was so stupid looking bc I took it when I was 17. The card was green and red and had a picture of Hatsune Miku, Tomiko Van, Ryo Owatari and some other anime characters hugging and doin the peace symbol.

"Very well, you may enter the city." We entered.

In the city there were some peasents complimenting our outfits and begging for gold. I stuck my middle finger up at them. All of the sudden, a short man with mismatched eyes, blak hair and was ridding a stallion came up to us. I gasped, Catelyn yelped, Sansa screamed, Imp Daemon was angry. It was Dark Tyrion and his pet boar porkchop!

(Author Note: If u think it is good pls review).


	6. You Win Or You Die

"Wat are u guys doing here?" Black Tyrion (Evil) said. "I thought u guys were in Wintergell?"

"No we camehere for the convention." I said. All of the sudden Evil Tyrion and Imp Dameon started fighting.

"Wow. Y don't you just stop fighting me?" Said B. Tyrion in a furious voice. He was wearing an Orochimaru necklace that had his tongue sticking out, a Marilyn Manson and Slipknot t and some black skinny jeans. He wore sum trench shoes that were neon green.

"Ok, sorry, black Tyrion." Imp Daemon said sadly. "I just have this need to kill you like Inuyasha needs 2 kill Naraku."

"I totally understand." Just them, Imp Daemon took out a word dat was huge and glowing and looked like a fang. He thrust in it into the air and said

"Wind SCAaaaar!" And it hit b. tyrion in the face. He cried out in pain and suddenly started to scream!

"TRY PERELLI'S MIRACLE ELIXER PUT IT IN YOUR TEA SIT TRU TRU TRUE! ( I do not own the song).

"Oh my god. This is ridiculous. Smells BAAAAAD!" CCried Kaitlyn. A gigantique meteor came from the sky and was about to hit da King's Landing. It had a face like in ZELDA: MAJORA'S MASK. I Screamed too.

"JABAYA KONNICHIW A MARRAL MUSMAE FURINKAN SCHOOL MAGICA!" The moon cried excidedly. Me, Catelyn, Sansa, Bran and Robert and I were flabaerghastly.

We ran to the nearest exit of the city.

"omg there are so many clouds in the sky 2day." Said Catelny. "Mayb whe shoed get on them and ride on them like in DBZ?"

"Yah." I said exstatically.

"Clouds we ned youo today! Come down a/ let us ride on u!" Suddenly 1 cloud for each person zeomed down 2 us. There were light and fuaffy. We now zoomed into da air and flu back to Winterfell.

Chapter 6.5

"U c Bran… dat is how u ride a cloud." I said liek and expericaled war vet. Sansa came up from her cloud and got off sadly.

"Wat is wrong, my daughter?" I said depressed

"I don't know it is just dat Joffrey asked to marrrey me and I dunt want 2!"

"Well, Sansa, sometimes u have 2 do what u got 2 do."

"YES BUT I DON:T WANT TO FATHER. I DON'T LIKE JOFFREY AND HE IS A STUPISD IDIOT HE DOESN:R HEVEN LIKE ANIME!"

"OMFG. How? Let him come ober here. Ill give him da CLOSED SHAVE HE EVER HAD."

"K." I will send a letter on da morrowind."

"Good."

I went into mi room to watch a movie or anime. But when I got there is saw Tywind Lannispert watching naruta!

"Ah Eddard, you have a very nice anime collection… I just finished watchingg teh second season of Narutoo!" said Tywin in an britich acsent.

"Wow u stupid poser. You take over my town and now u watch my anime iwhtout my asking? U probably sctatched the discs. Oh and BTW (SPOILLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)

sasuke kills orochimaru."

"Oh. My. Gof I cant; believe u just told me that. I HATE SPOILErS!" He then took the disc out of the player he then took the disc out of the player and cracked in it half. He then throw a potion at my shelf w/ all my anime and it all melted. I cried in insolence.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER." I yelled screaming. "TWIN LANNISSTRE YOU WILL DIE BI MY HAND." I then took out my bustered sword and slid in thorough his stomach. Blood pured all over the DVD player. And me aswell. His body fell limp over my 90inch flat-screen tv. Suddently, Santa ran into the room.

"Oh my god… DAD~!" She cried. "I fink I want 2 marry Joffrey Baratheon." She eyed Tywin and spat on his palid face. "He is actually converted to being an Otaku. I don't even care if he iz a Satanist!"

"That is nice honey." I said as I began to put Sweeney Todd into the dvd player.


	7. Chapter 7

Word from the Author: (Sorry for da long weight. I was bisi and I hope u enjoy dis chapter. Pls REVIEW. It is v. appreciated. Anyways onto the story.)

I could not recover from my loss of anime. Anyways, 2day I got up and put on some clothes. I put on some black and white checkerbord skin jeans that were blak and white. 4 my shirt I put on a t chirt that said The Walking Dead on the gfront and had a zombie from the walking dead on it. I wore some black converse and curled my hair and put a whit streak in it liek in Sweeney Toff. Suddenly my wief catelyn came into the room.

"OMG, ned!" she said angrily. "oh my, there is someone outside da town and theu look just like me except she if 14 and haz bland hair and locks pretiers."

"yah right dat;s actshuly pretty preppy stoopif, catelyn only Imp Dameon has a colon."

"There must be more! she must have copied me like a poser and stuff she even wearing da same Hatusen miky cotume as me. She even bot it off ebay!"

"I will haff to sea for myself." I walked out the door stupidly.

I looked out my window hole and saw a large army bing lead by a preppy gurl with blonde hair.

"I AM CATELYN STORMBORN TARGARYET. I AM UNBRUTNT AND DA MOTHER OF DROGONS!" SHE YELLED EHILE HER HATUSINE MIKI HAIR FLOOPED ALL OVER DA PLACE.

"Oh, My God!." I yelled as I examined her waste length bloonde hair flailed in da wind. She looked exactly like catleyn and I was making me all hot and stuff. "Wat do u want, Catlyn?" I yelled at her.

"Simply hand over ur anime collection and wii will leave."

"R u crazy? I spend over 10000000 dragons on that animes!"

"yeah, so?" She said evilly. "I guess wii will have 2 kill u."

"HAHAHAHHAHA, stupid poseur. U copy catelyn and pretend to be an anime fan? U are the worst. Y don't you go back to Valar Dohairyus?

"Ok. You're being Lucicrous. Her dragons suddenlty swooped into da air and came in to me town!" They brunt the temple of the old gods.

"LIIIIQUUUIIIIDDD!" I screamed angrily like Solid Snake. Hur bloddriders were invading the main gate entrence. I know what I had 2 do. I must give hwr my anema collection.

"stop. Stop!" I yelled with an agry look on mii face. "I will give u what you seek."

"Haha. You are wise eddard Stark. Ok just ship it to meereen by UPS. I fi don't get it by the end of the month I will come back and kill u so fuck off." She got on her dragons and flew away. Her soldiers was very angry bc they had to walk. I saved the city.

I wnt into my rrom and began to pack my collection. I changed my clothes because I was really dirty from the battL. I wore mi shoulder-lengf brown hair in a punytail and put on a black t that said 'I make my brother do my homework' It had brine pink and green robbons all over it.. I also put on black jogging pants that were grey and stippy.

I creied a salty tear onto my anime collection dn the tear hit the face of Ichigo Kurasawi. I hoped the moisture wood ripple the paper cuver hart. I gave it to the mail man and he tried to comfort me. I just stabbed him w/ my bistereed sword.

I took a walkf outside afterwards and looked depressed. AND SO WAS I. I was feeling so f-ing depression that I almost thot about slitting my wrists!

"hey ned. Whats up?"

"oh wouuldn't u like to know, you stupid fatso."

"I saved u from ur poison blud… don't talk 2 ur king like that!" Just then a little small man came into the yard with a pet boar… I gasped


	8. Chapter 8

(To all the ppl who h8 the story: what do u want? If u don't like da story don't read it!Siriusly!)

"hey black tyrion." I said happily at dark Tyrion.

"Yo." He said all depression. "I'm here 2 ask if u got the 3rd season of Soul Eater in your castel?"

"No. I don't some stupid preppy girl wit blande hair came in and tooke it all. I wuz going to go on my comp and rebuy it all on rightstuff. L8ter today."

"og kool. I love that website. Well c ya."

"Bah." I ended.

"STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINEL SCUM. U ARE COPIING MY IN NAME AND LOOKS. A LANNISPERT ALWAYS PAYS DABS! Another small man with blonde goald hair strolled i. It was…. Imp Daemon!

"We do not cow…" Said Dark Tyrion gothically. It turned out that dark tyrion was never a lannister but actually an ironbern. Ppl in pike thought he looked 2 much like Tyrion Lannister that they kicked him out of da islands. He is pretentious to be tyrion so he will get respect and GOLD. Anyways. Tyrion (Black)'s bore immediately rammed at Imp Daemon. He screamed when the tuck stabed him in the knee (almost exactly wat happened to Eddard in da book & tv show). He gasped and fell to his knee. The boar snuffed and 8 a piece of his hairball.

"BLACK TYRION YOU MOTHERFUCKER." Imp Daemon said in his last breath before fenting, dead.

"NOOOõOOOOOOo!" I screamed at the tape of my lungs.

"heh." Said b. tyrion before shooting a spell and leving in a puff of smook. Also his boar did the same.

Chapter 8.5

Pycella ran into the rome feebly on his stunted legs. He was carriying some milk of the poppy.

"The mil of the poppy is a mix of wolfsbane, thistle and Flea Bottom tears." He said the old man in the white beard.

"that's cool." I said sarcastically because I wasn;t good at science in high school. Pycells began to pore it down his throat feebly.

"ouille, at' hits da spot righ' there if me does says so's meeself!" yelled Imp Daemon, feinting again.

"u must lit him rast 4 a while, Eddard, he is v. weak and he has a wound just like Eddard in da T.V. show." Pycellz left da room and I sat on the hospital bed w/ Imp Daemon. I cried a tear of salty and it splooshed onto his face, creating a tornado cyclone dat cleaned all his pores. I left and went 2 go see Cateleyn.

I saw Catelyn at the dining table in the Great Hall. She was wearing a neon green top with ripped skinny jens. Her earrings were light blu and large. She was wearing some converse shoes and a Hatsune Miko necklace pendant. She put her hair up into a bun.

"oh hey Eddard." She said sadly. "um, all these Catelyns in this world is making me VERY confused! From now on, u should call me 'Ghoul Gurl'."

"CATELYN TULLY STARK. WTF do you think ur doing?" Sansa ran into the room angrily and spied underneath the table. A man w/ blonde curls and fat lips stood up. He was wearing a red shirt that said 'Dattebayo' on the front in bold orange letters. He wore some black shoes &skinny jeans.

"Oh, hello there, Santa, I was just talking 2 your mother." Said Joffreu Baratheon in an English accent.

"WTF are u doing w/ my lord husband, Catelyn? Joff is mine!"

"my daughter… Joff was my husband since years before u were born. I was so confused so I ran into da croner and started crying (can u imagine sean Bean crying in a corner?). Sansa was furious.

Author note: (I hope u are enjoying the contente. More is on the way… it will get better!)


	9. Chapter 9

I wook up da next moring with blud stains on mi eye cheeks. I had bled so muk that I started 2 bleed. I learned that Catelyn was actshally cheating on my for Joff Baratheon for the last 2 years. Sansa and I were so f-ing angry,! Suddently, the stupid bich came into da room and said something::

"Ned, I'm sorry, JOff was always meant for Sansa… I always luved you!"

"Tell it to the frogs." I said smoothly. Manly tears came down cat's face she left. Too. "U do know that im sentencing u 2 dead. The men who passed da sentence shud swing the sword." I said nicely.

"yah, yah, I know too."

Catelyn, robb, sansa, bran, rickon, arya, robbert and cerise all came out to see the beheading. Surprisingly, cersei did not have a stomachache. Everyone was wearing black clothing and put on some white foundation to make us look white and sad. We wernt really sad we just pretentious for the peons.

Catelyn Tully Stark knelt down onto the plinth and bowed her head. I took my master sword out of the scabbard and said something in Japanese. It was a prayer that people thought said 'have a nice life in the afterlife' but really said 'wow stupid hoker bigamist bitch bastard'. I was about to bring the sword down but then….

"you shall not harm my lady." said a man with a deep voice. Just then, a spear whent through my leg like in da TV show! I turned around and saw a woman that was very tall and had white blond hair like Catelyn Stormborn Targartan. She was so tall that she was almost three times as tall as the small man behind her. The man was a dwarf, and had black hair and black nailpolich on. He wore black eyeliner and black lipstick and black mascara under a thick liar of white foundation that had yellow mixed in. there were some snake fangs and other piercing on his face and his hair was blak. I ar first did not know hoo it was but then when he said a spell, I know.

"good work Brienne of Tarth." B. Tyrion said eyeing his pet boar. Birenn was wearing some plate that was moulede like bird feather that were golden, she wore not a helmet but a baseball cap that said 'don't judge a book by its cover' on the front. She was also wearing some black skinny jeans with blue dark converse high heels.

"New orders my lord?"

"Yes…" he produced a peace of paper that haad a drawing of Mew on the back he read it in Japanese.

"Nu ma seor shimazu nikita lore morenshi II!" he yelled and the catlen perked her ears up and summoned a cloud out og thin air. Tyrion, Cat and Porkchop mounted it and rode of in a direction I did not know but I think it waz kings landing.

"U death is coming 2 you!" I yelled angrily at the ppl on da cloud. They stuck their middle fingers up at me (porkchop waved his tale in a way dat looked like a middle finger). I went inside all depressed bc I could not kill my traitorous wife and because I hed lost mien collection of anemaes.

"Orders, my lord?" said Pycellr at me. "Do u need sum poppy for ur knee?"

"No, I can withdraw myelsf?" I said angrily and ran into the castle and I was blooding averywhere. I ran into my room and began to put Silent Hill (da mivie) into the dvd player and I watched it casually and silently like da town.

When the movie was over I went into the Great Hall 2 pit some rotten bread on ymmy knee to make a poultice. I also put some nightshade, thistle and flea bottom tears on 2 because pyrcell said that was what milk og the pappy was made out of. I sat in the and healed.

(Ps: srry it took so long for da chapter I was playing Super Smash Bros. 3ds on Friday and yesterdat. If you wnt 2 fight me send a pm w/ ur friend code and a message short.!)

(like usual pls remember 2 review…. I wnt to hear sum constrisctive feedback/)..

-^_^-.


	10. Chapter 10

**EVIL TYRION**

"Do you not think Porkchop deserves a knew name, Bryien?" said I said to her, kissing her.

"aye, m'lord, this one seems too generic."

"I;m thinking Hamstein." (getit? Because der is a band name ramstein and except the name is changed with ham).

"A worderfull name, m'lord!" me bak. We were sitting at a river and it was just me, Birnne, Catleny and hamstein. We were drinking the water in the river and it tasted salty. WE KNEW IT WAS BECAUSE OF BLED from the war.

"*Sigh* There's a king in everty corner nowadays. Stannis, Robert, Baloon, Tywin etc." said Brynan.

"heh… how many are there? I've lost count." I said smoothly. Suddenly, Catelyn eyed me and got all angry.

"Seriously, Tyrion, what da fuck is wrong wit you? This war is called the war of FIVE kings! Don't you know anyfing? Or is ur brain shrinked like your body?!1"

"Wow shut ur hoker mouth catelyn. We saved you from execution and this is how you treat me? Maybe I should lop ur head of now!"

"No Please!" she yelped as I began 2 draw out mien knife…

**EDDARD**

"This cannot be… my guards… you weren't supposed to let that whore leave!" I yelled so angry that I almost had an aneurism.

"My lord—"

"SHUT UP VARYS! DON'T SPEAK NOW CATLENY IS GING 2 TELL EVERYONE THAT A 14 YEAR OLD GURL STOLE MY ANIME COLLECTION! IT IS GOING 2 RUIN MY REP. AND WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT IT VARYS? YOU SIT BACK GETTING ALL FAT AND STUFF AND BETRAY PEOPLE AND WHY WON'T YOU DIE? PYCELLW GET ME MILK OG THE PIPPY AND CALL SANSA AND BRAN IMP DAEMON AND ARYA WE ARE LEAVING TO GO ACROSS THE WALL!"

"Eddard, please reconsider your accusations…" said Varys and littlefinger came in.

"I did not say any Lord Varys, be sure to note that… Yes, I'm going across the wall and I'm taking all of the other Starks and Imp Daemon with me besides Catleyn because she is a hoker bitch.

"Whatever you say, we will rul in Winterwell while ur gone."

"Very god."

I was preparing for da trip and so wax me family. I made everyone put on some clothes that I had boughten of hot topic and eBay that were anime and pop culture themed. For instance, Bran was wearing a shirt that had a doge meme on the front while Arya wore some Hogwarts leggings. But that was under TONs of pounds of fur I made them ware for the cold wether. Me I just wore a hoodie w/ a kitten prnied on the front. We packed salt beef and ~10 gallons of milk of the poppy because I had 'knee pain'. Pycelld somehow let us take all that stuff bc he was old and stooped and only liked da royal people. Imp Daemon also wore a leather doublet under a bear fur clouk. He put on a balaclava, it was black and grew out his brienne for the occasion. We got on sum horses and set off (Bran is not cripple in dis story.).

It was snowing lightly like Catelyn's head and it was making me aroused. I just forgot about her and stuff bc she cheted an mii. There was grass on the ground (basically imagine da first episode in s1). And it was really green. The mares we mounted were rally cute and good for riding. The trip to the Wall was just how I had hoped.

(Sorry 4 tha long weight. Bean playing too much SSB4!)) Remember 2 reiview.!


	11. Chapter 11

_ Previously on __**DO AS INFINITY**_. Dark Tyrion has taken catlyn stark captive and she has a tongue of a viper. Eddard, angry wit the news of his wife's deceit plans a journey 2 the wall. What happens next? Find out in the nex chapter og _**DO AS INFINITY**_

We were sitting by a fire that we had lit together.

"Ok, evertyone, I want 2 sing u a song. It'z called 'U used 2 be mine but then u became a stooped preppy traitor bitch'." I said.

"U used 2 be mine but then it happened!" I sang. "u left me for joff and thnen u used me 2! You'd might as well leave now b4 I lop of ur head!"

"Been practicing, brother?" said a smooth voice from antoher side of a nearby tree. It was Benben Stark!

"Thanks,brthr." I said quietly, blushing bc he said my music was good. He was implying it and did not explicitly say so. "What brings u to this neck of da woods?"

"R u stupid or something, Ned? You are really close to the Wall and im the lord commander! M8be you should talk a but better 2 ur superiors, idc that you're the lord of Wintredell."

"Shit up Benjen. Or I will behead you. HAHA!?"

"HAHA!" And then be did a brotherly hug and myi children hugged him 2. I just noticed what he was wearing 2! He was wearing a black doublet and a red pentagram necklace pendant with a picture of Hatusune Miki. He put on sum black and lanky and baggy jeans and black military boots that looked a little gothic but werne;t because they were black because they were to get dirthy. He wore a bracelet with a feather on it and the Deathly hallows too. His hair was exactly like the tv show. We were all so happy but then I saw Imp Daemon, he was crying on the south side of the campfire. His face was puffy and red and I was extremely worried.

"Wat is rong, Imp?"

"Oh, shut up Eddard… you never lost a wife!" He said screaming and loudly. " Tysha, Tusha! Why did lord Tirwin hafe to kill you!"

"Imp Daemon it's ok mien wife left my for a 13 y.o. oh and btw I killed thynin so you got revenge!"

"Nice, kawaii." He said happily… his tears had dryed upten "will we sleep throughout the night or walk on out Journey?"

"I think we will sleep, thanks of the heavens KAwaiii!" And so we slept. I had a dream about Catleyn and Catelyn Stormboran Targartyna it made me reevaluate myself.

We wok up that morning and had breakfast. I, wearing the regular (hoodie, black jeans and boots) and was eating eggs and toast. Imp Daemon was wearing the exact same thing as me except his hair was styled like Miroku feom Inuyasha. He was eating some Captain Krunch with milk of the poppy as milk.

"Imp, I think ur afflicted to that milk of the poppy?" I said, worrying about his health.

"U should not talk, Effard, I saw you chugging it from a water bottle last nihgt in ur bedroll."

"No. I don't think so, Imp." Just then I saw Arta chugging the whole jar of poppy from the corber of my eye!"

"What the hell! Arya stop that! It's not for little children!"

"I'm bigger than Imp Daemon AND I got a splinter in my toe and it hurts! Plese!"

"What the fuck did you say about me?!" Yelled Imp and then he jumped on her! I thought he was going to rape her but he didn't, he just beat up her face.

"Arya stop it! Ur ruining everything!" Yelled Sansa, crying.

When Arya got up, she did not look like she got hurt. I think it was because Imp Daemon is so weak. I did not tell him that or else he would beat me up.

We set out again in the direction of a castle. Arya was completely healed. We were ariiving at the castle and were about to go in.

"This is the Dreadfort, father said Sansa (she was a good histoy student) it abundant but people think it's haunted."

"Ghosts of my past aren't going to kill me!" I said and then we walked in.

The room was very dark and rusty. It reminded me a little byte of Silent Hill. There was a well in the centre and some stairs to the side. There was also a carpet on the ground that looked pretty clean. So, we sat down on it and reast. Everyone was watching Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo Bo BoBo on my ipod. We just started the 2nd season.

Just then a huge black thing rose from the well.

"No Samra! Please don't;t kill us we wernt watching a tape!" I yelled we were so fucking scared and then the black blob came out and I heard screaming too.

"Oh hey eddard, do u know were I can find Jon Snow?" The black blob said… It was Samwise Tarply with his gf Gilly and he baby. They were wearing the stuff from the Tv show and book.

"Do you mind if I join ut group?"

"yea sure! We are almost becoming a fellowship… The Fellowship of the Thrones!"

(I think this is were the fanfic really starts up. BTW if u wnt to Ply SSB4 with me send a Pm.)


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